a guidebook for myself · ages 20–30
Not advice. Just reminders.
Eleven things I keep re-learning the hard way. Read them slow when you have the time, or skim them glance-by-glance when you just need a nudge.
If you want stuff, you gotta work for it — you have to make it happen. Remember the scythe, hardwork will never betray you.
If you want stuff you gotta work for it, you have to make it happen — hardwork will never betray you.
If you're chilling now and resting instead of doing things, you will regret it when ur old/older. And when ur old there's just things that you will never be able to do — go out and do stuff. If you feel tired, just remember.
Resting now costs you later. Do what you can while you're young.
Following your feeling never gets you anywhere. If ur suffering, that's when you know you're doing something right. Your brain is actively sabotaging you at all times.
Comfort leads nowhere. Growth lives in discomfort.
It's not your fault that you got into this situation, but it's your responsibility to get out of it. Instead of complaining about your current circumstances (playing victim), take responsibility and get out of it. You can never expect anyone to "save" you.
Your life, your responsibility. No one's coming to save you.
You're only limit is your own belief. Instead of trying to think why it won't work, find ways on how it can work. If you only do what you can do, you will never be more than who you are. Nothing will work for you if you don't believe in yourself first. Find ways, not excuses.
Don't overexaggerate the difficulty in your head.
Believe, then act. Doubt limits you more than reality does.
Remember the 10k Hours Rule — if you want to be good at something, spend 10k hours on it. Remember that consistency is always better than intensity. The truth is that people become good at something because they put in the time and work. They don't just get born being good at it.
Don't Mistake Stagnation for Failure.
People who become great at something usually weren't simply born good at it. You see the finished person. You don't see the years of awkward attempts, abandoned projects, confusion, bad work, and failures that came before.
Scott Cawthon is a good reminder of this. Before Five Nights at Freddy's, Scott had already spent roughly 20 years making games. He had made a huge number of obscure games and projects, many of which went nowhere. He later said he had experienced many failed games in a row, to the point where working on another game had become difficult.
Then Chipper & Sons Lumber Co. was criticized for looking unintentionally creepy. And that failure became the idea. The thing people thought was wrong with his game became the thing he leaned into.
So when I'm stagnating, struggling, or spending a long time feeling like I don't know what I'm doing, I shouldn't assume I'm getting nowhere. I may simply be in the part of the story that nobody sees. A long period of confusion is not proof that I'm incapable. It may simply be the price of becoming capable.
And I wonder what Scott felt before FNaF existed. Probably not "I'm about to create one of the biggest horror franchises in gaming." He was just a guy who had been trying for years, had failed repeatedly, was struggling to make things work, and was trying another idea.
That's the important part. You don't need to know which attempt will finally work. You just need to keep making attempts.
Time beats talent. 10,000 hours and consistency make you great.
Eat failing like it's breakfast. Failure is the only way to improve. You have to be so comfortable with it that you don't even flinch at the idea of failing — the more you fail, the closer you are to succeeding. You have to normalize setbacks.
Fail forward. The more you fail, the closer you are.
Embrace changes — it's inherent in life. Don't be anxious about whether things are going to change for the better or worse. We can't control every outcome, and that's okay. Learn to adapt your choices and you will be more than who you were before the change. Remember Rudeus.
Change is inherent in life. Don't exhaust yourself worrying whether the next change will be for better or worse.
You cannot control every outcome. You can control what you do with the outcome.
Rudeus didn't get the second life he imagined. Again and again, his circumstances changed beyond his control. But every time life took something away, he had to become someone capable of living with what remained. He wasn't the same person after every hardship. That's the point.
A low point is not necessarily the end of your story. It may simply be the point from which you have to adapt into someone new. Don't cling so tightly to the life you had that you become unable to live the life you have.
You may lose things. Plans may collapse. People may leave. You may become lost for a while. But you can still choose your next step. And when the circumstances change again, you will have changed too.
Change is life. Adapt and keep moving.
Focusing too much on the goal leads to swinging between hopefulness and cynicism. Instead, love the process like tending a garden — find joy in the act of gardening and trust growth happens in its own time. Getting made you want more, hoping made you hurt more.
Goals deceive. Love the process, not the finish line.
Clarity comes from doing, not thinking. Stop overthinking and start doing.
Clarity comes from doing not thinking, stop overthinking and start doing.
Regret is inevitable — your future you is a harsh judge. Choose the life that you want. What you don't want is to sleepwalk through the entire life and think about where it all went. It won't happen unless you are deliberate with the life you want to live. Decide before life decides for you. Is this how I want to spend this part of my life?
Indulge in what you genuinely choose to. Don't fear losing feeling good if it wasn't something you chose to begin with, like internet social media attention. Choose what feeds your life, not what steals your attention. Though one may conquer a thousand times a thousand men in battle, yet he indeed is the noblest victor who conquers himself.
"Learn to govern yourself rather than being governed by yourself."
Your mind can pull you in a hundred directions:
And you can spend your entire life obeying whichever voice happens to be loudest.
To live your own way, you first need enough mastery over yourself that your life isn't being dictated by every passing desire, fear, comparison, or expectation.
Don't sleepwalk. Choose. Is this how I want to spend this part of my life?